Coyote's Den

Why is my name Coyote?
So Glad You Asked

(I wrote this quite a while ago, but reading it over, there's not much I'd change. Except that I now try not to use so many ellipses when I write).

Well.... partly... it's that I was using the name for many years. My friends began calling me Coyote years and years ago. Partly, I am sure, this is because I was the only Coyote they knew. There were a couple friends who just always knew.

I need to call myself something... and while names are just labels (and I coulda chosen from a zillion of them)... this was the one I felt easiest and most comfortable with. It was accurate, and people called me that anyway.

In one sense... a name (can be) the spoken version of who you are... or what you are choosing or have been chosen to be. To Europeans, it seems that a name is just something you are called, in a sense. Most folks don't even know what their name means... it was chosen because someone else was named that in their family... or it was chosen because it was pretty. Sometimes it's chosen because of a one-line definition in a baby book.

But to me... my name is a symbol for who I am, what I do, what gives my life meaning. I was given my name a long time ago. I was given my name for a reason, and I accepted it for a reason. Now... the name could be translated, pronounced different, or rendered into other languages or signs. The essential spirit of who and what I am remains.

Sometimes, people change their names as they themselves change. For me... keeping the name I have has been part of a sign of my connection to that original ineffable "beingness" of me. And also a sign that I remember what I agreed to, and have not given up or turned away.

The reason that I have chosen Coyote, and not a more specific seeming name is partly because the label part of a name is used to try and communicate a meaning to others. If I were " Coyote" I know people would kind of write it off as if that were somehow "just a name".

I draw a very close connection between my real physical self and my "mythic" self. I think of the greater part of Coyote "out there" as well as the 'regular old me" that is "in here".

Sometimes... Coyote... (and by this I can mean me... or I can mean THE Coyote) is Bitter Coyote, or Black Coyote, or Old Coyote. And I do believe that I, in this human form, as this person, relate more specifically to those certain aspects of Coyote. But I try not to confuse the issue of whether I'm really this or that Coyote. I'm just me.

I think, when I meet up with enough other bits o' Coyote and we all have to deal with each other a lot... I might choose a new label for myself... a new spoken name to make it clearer which part of Coyote I am. Heh... or maybe we'll all decide it's fun to call each other "Coyote", just to confuse everyone.

Hmmm... all of this sounds really schizo. Oh well. Life's tough.

Suffice to say... I believe I am a part of Coyote. An easy way to put it would be that I am a "fragment" thereof... perhaps a more accurate analogy would be that I believe that I am an expression of Coyote, in the material world, in a human body. Obviously, I'm not ALL of Coyote. Coyote's a big ol spirit, and not all of him/it/me would fit in this thing. Hell... feels like I've stuffed my head in a thimble. This thing sucks. And you call this fur? Blah! But I digress.

I call myself Coyote, partly, because it's demeaning to say "Hi! I'm Coyote's Left Hand!" or "I'm Coyote's right pinky toe!"

Yeah... I think of myself as a coyote... the animal... I identify with that more strongly, in many ways, than I do with being human. I've lived as a coyote (Yes Virginia, I believe in reincarnation). I lived as a coyote a lot longer than I ever lived as a human, and never put it behind me. I've lived as other critters too, of course... I've been a wolf many times for instance... but if I have to identify myself, inwardly... I remember myself as coyote. Being a wolf never changed that. Being a human hasn't either.

But... I also identify myself mythically in a sense.

In my first big vision in this life... Coyote came to me to embrace me, to remind me of who I was... and to show me that I was Coyote.

I guess this is why I defend the mythics, like dragons and manticores, et al... because I too am one. I too have my roots in mythic consciousness, as well as having lived like reg'lar folks.

I see myself as Coyote... and so that's my name. I was given that name, and it's mine. (No unspoken neener neener neener).

I've also met Coyote(s) (note when I use capitals) on the road* several times. I've seen (and sought) Coyote as an external being in Dreams and visions, even though I AM, in a sense, Coyote.

The first Coyote who came to me was Red Coyote. Red Coyote was the old, spiritually pure, loving spirit from the vision (described in my werecard) where I came to know who I was. He was the one that showed me myself. Black Coyote has been in my Dreams several times too... Black Coyote more often gives me warnings, and has hinted at hidden powers or hidden things (often bad things). Black Coyote often appears as a puppy or young creature, who I protect even as he protects me.

I've also seen Coyote-Walking-as-a-Man. Generally, I think he's the one I follow... the one I never quite seem to catch up with. When I briefly get close... he often looks surprised (though not unhappy) to see me.... before he vanishes or I lose him again.

I've also met other Coyote folks in my time... and some of them I think are... well... others like me. Other expressions of Coyote in the world. I don't need to name names, do I? If ya cannot tell, ya probably don't need to know. Besides... I'd hate to spoil the surprise.

So... why do I go by the name "Coyote"? Well... because it's my name. (Look... it's even on my driver's license).

*By the way... Coyote is not Buddha... yer supposed to meet Coyote on the road... so don't kill him. That happens all the time and it's really annoying. Try it, and yer gonna learn that the sound of one hand clapping sounds suspiciously like a smack upside the head.