Coyote's Den

The Easy Stuff
My interests include optimistic cynicism (things suck, but we can make them better), making fun of society, questioning authority, and spending far too much time at my computer. I also like to read, draw, play RPG's, study philosopy, folklore, the occult and history, and collect useless information of all sorts.

My Name
Yes, that's my name... I paid for it. I say so, and the court says so too. ; ) When someone asks me "No... really, what's your real name?", what I hear is "I would like to walk away with three shoes (guess where the third shoe goes?).

My Household
My mate, Coryn and I currently live with my dear friend Lo, also known as Feybitch on LiveJournal who took us in when we needed a home. She has described having us here as "Yay! It's like a slumber party that never ends!" We share our living space with four cats, three of Lo's and one of Coryns.

The Pets
Lo's precious felines are:

Dusk, a lovely and distinguished tortoiseshell lady. Her hobbies are lounging on the cushion pile in the living room, and reaching up your leg with her claws to indicate that she would like to be picked up and held. She is soft, cuddly, precious and adorable. Unless you are a rat... or... half a rat.

Maleficent (aka Molly), a kink-tailed and predatory black alley kitten (who, if we were small, and she were large, would consume us in a heartbeat). Her hobbies are dashing madly through the house attacking shopping bags, eating roaches, and leaping onto Genghis' face from hiding.

Genghis (aka Muffin, or Genghi-saur), a gorgeous, if corpulent Tonkinese bundle of love, who has the best disposition of any cat alive. His hobbies include sprawling on the arm of the couch, occupying all of your lap, wrestling with Maleficent, and foraging for food to support his eating disorder.

Coryn's cat is Carabas, a somewhat neurotic kitty with black and white "Tuxedo" markings. Carabas' hobbies include adoring Coryn, scratching me when I'm sleeping, meowing at the top of his lungs, scratching me when I try to pet him, chasing glow-bracelets, and scratching me from hiding at random moments. He also likes scratching me.

My Mate
My lifemate, boyfriend, love-of-my-life is Coryn, a lion therian who is a lot younger than I am, better looking, and a much snappier dresser. Sometimes, I'm not sure what he sees in me, but I'm glad he does. He looks like the character "Basch" from Final Fantasy XII. Really. Or possibly an anime villain.

The Community I'm Part Of
I have been a member of the therianthropic community for some years now... since about 1994-95. Like many others, I got my start in the community when I found the newsgroup alt.horror.werewolves. Sadly, that forum was eventually overrun by trolls and twits.

Luckily, there are new forums where therianthropes (or weres... "therianthropy" is such a mouthful) can discuss what it's like to be an animal person in a human world. And better yet, many of us have had the opportunity to meet other weres in person. It's not just an online community any more. Out of the ashes of our origins, we have emerged, more mature (usually) wiser (hopefully) and with our senses of humor intact (largely). Over the years, I've happily seen many new faces, and noted with sadness the passing into the next life of several of our number. I've seen sorrows and laughter and fights and marriages, and through it all I feel that I've grown to love the werecommunity all the more. Warts and all. Though I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel despair over some of what I've watched go on.

My own contribution to the community at large is the Werelist. Take a look. You'll find links, and if you register, can find contact info for weres around the world, as well as register your own.

I am also a member of the Long Beach Therians "clan". No, we're not really a "secret society" - mostly, we're a bunch of gamer-geeks. I'm not sure that "Long Beach Therians Clan" is an apropos name any more, since more than half of us no longer live in long beach, but... eh.

My Art
I like to draw, but I don't seem to get a lot of time for it somehow. Something always comes up. I've managed to crank out a couple sketches recently though. With a little luck, I'll do some more and get better at it. I've gotten to one of those "Omigawd, my old work sucks" stages and so I want to get some of my new stuff out there.

The Mundane
Over the course of my life, I have worked in the fields of laboratory work, marketing, product design, digital prepress, construction and newspaper delivery. I have been a printer, a prepress operator, a consultant, a publisher and a programmer. Until recently, I've lived mostly hand-to-mouth, skirting the ragged edge of monetary poverty. My day jobs have sometimes been fun, but never been fulfilling. They are merely something I do to keep food on the table. I much prefer being self-employed. Longer hours, but at least I'm my own slavedriver. My "career" has always been merely something that I do, rather than something that I am.

Recently, brain injuries from earlier in my life have come back to haunt me. I've lost a great deal of my color vision, and my short term memory and attention span are damaged enough that I am effectively joining the ranks of the disabled. I don't let little things get me down though. Some things I can't do anymore, but that just means a journey to find out what I Can do.

I tried, in the midst of my brain damage, to begin a small-press publishing company, Coyote Moon Publications, which unfortunately, I had to fold last year. I'm now in the process of attempting once more to get my feet under me and get a career. I'm attempting to build up a stable of web-programming clients, so if you know anyone who needs website work done, whether design and appearance, or server-side programming, please let me know.

The Mystical
As you may be able to gather, I feel a strong connection to coyotes. Call them my "power animal" if you like. So my pages contain references to both "regular coyotes" and to the legendary Coyote of Native American origin.

Coyote is, of course, a trickster. But he's also a hero, a warrior, a coward. He's lazy and resourceful. He's vicious and bitter and willing to walk to the land of the dead and back for those he loves. Coyote occasionally falls off a cliff, or sleeps with the wrong person, or makes "howlers" of mistakes... but he also slays monsters, gives fire, and brings people back from the dead. Coyote's done a lot of things, and has worn a lot of hats. Sometimes he's told lies, and sometimes he's been the only one who would tell the real truth. He is the mirror of our souls, the one who shows us our folly, the one who shows us the way. And best of all... Coyote lives in the world of mortals. That's his special trick.

I found my connection to my wereness as part of a lengthy journey. One that still continues. I've found myself in Dreams, in waking. I've seen my reflection in the eyes of others, and looked deep into the mirror too. I've run through the snow on four feet, and been shot, and awakened, sweating in my bed, wondering why I was still alive.

Dreams and Visions have had a huge impact on my life. While I live in the "real" world... I have come to recognize a certain realness that is very different than what we commonly experience. I've posted some of my dreams on this site.

I'm spiritual... and possibly have a mystical or mythic worldview at times. But I'm absolutely not religious. To me, spirit is something you experience, something you do, something you are part of... not something to be followed. I don't do a lot of rituals, and I don't worship in a church. Indeed, I don't worship. If other people want to do it, and that's their way, and it makes them happy... fine and good.

That Coyote Graphic in the upper corner
That little graphic is my rendition of Coyote juggling the stars. I'll probably end up getting it tattooed on my body some day.

My Vocation
I've dedicated myself to my calling as clergy. I'm a nondenomenational pagan, following a shamanic path, but I have also chosen a path of helping others. That means I'll offer advice and counsel if asked, and can perform weddings and other ceremonies. I believe that each person should be dedicated to their own spirituality, but nonetheless, I will offer advice where I can, and recommend things that you might do to help yourself. While I do not denigrate people that ask for money in exchange for counsel or spiritual "intervention", I do not do this myself. It's not something I would do for money.

Part of Coyote's job, given to him by Great Spirit is to "make things right". And we each must do this in our own way, to the best of our ability. I'll help where I can, and where I think it's right. You don't have to follow my path to ask for help, advice, or friendship, either. I'm the only one on my path anyway. ; ) And no, I don't have all the answers (obviously), but I'll do what I can.

Of course, I shouldn't have to tell you, the best person to go to for answers is yourself. Even when you go to another for advice, it's ultimately you that has to decide what's best in your own life.

My Life's Mission
When I think about the very core of my heart's desire for this lifetime, it can be summed up by:

"I want to do something good, and I want people to do it with."

I want to leave the world a better place than I found it, whether in a small or large way. I don't believe the world just happens to us. I believe we are all part of the world. And what we decide to do determines what kind of world we will have. I believe it is up to all of us to choose a better future, to strive for a world worth dreaming of.